Ellie's Birth Story - Part I

Quiet moments have been few and far between while on maternity leave, but I have spent most of those moments processing through the birth of sweet Eleanor Antoinette.  I’ve experienced a wide range of emotions as I have gone over the days leading up to her birth.  Happiness, frustration, peace.

I want to share Ellie’s birth story.  I think it will be helpful for me to share all the events that lead up to her birth and allow me to close that chapter before I head back to work later this week.  

Ellie’s birth isn’t a short story.  Honestly, I’m a little jealous of the women who have perfect births without having to change everything in the middle of labor.  I’m jealous because that’s what we were planning on.  A smooth labor without the need of medicine or assistance.  That’s not the birth story we got, no, Ellie was a little stubborn.

A little over two years ago, when we started trying to have a baby, Devin and I did lots of research on the kind of birth experience we wanted for our family.  After several months we decided that when we got pregnant we would have all our prenatal care and delivery at Mountain Midwifery Center in Englewood, Colorado.

MMC was wonderful to me throughout my pregnancy.  They are very “hands off” in their care, trusting that a mother’s body will naturally grow and deliver a healthy baby.  Of course there are the standard tests to ensure that everything is going smoothly, but they never went searching for something to be wrong.  Even with all the health issues that arose in trying to get pregnant, never was there a concern while Ellie was growing inside me.  Every single appointment we got a clean bill of health.  Maybe that’s why she didn’t want to come out, her world was perfect.

My due date came and went.  The days continued to pass without any sign of contractions.  Four days after my due date we went to MMC to check and make sure everything was still ok.  Baby was still happy and healthy and I was dilated 4cm!  We opted to do a membrane sweep to see if that would kick start labor.  The midwife, Gina, told us it had a 50-50 chance of working within 24 hours.  The hours passed and nothing happened.

Three days later (one week past my due date) we went back to MMC for an ultrasound and Fetal Non-Stress Test.  We took some times to talk to the midwives, Vanessa and Chance, about the possible outcomes of the tests.  We were told that there is a possibility that we would be admitted to the hospital for an emergency induction if the tests did not go well.  My heart got heavy, we did not want to transfer to a hospital.  An hour, and another membrane sweep, later we were sent home with gold stars!  Ellie was still happy and healthy!  

We continued to wait at home.  I tried to keep myself busy with family and last minute preparations while balancing rest.  My goal was to not tire myself out in the days before labor so that I could get the natural birth I wanted.  I heard that many first time moms at MMC transfer to the hospital out of exhaustion for an epidural, and I did not want to be one of those!  

The day before Thanksgiving (November 25th) and 41 weeks 3 days pregnant we returned to MMC for another Non-Stress Test.  We were starting to get desperate and conveyed that to the midwife, Rachael.  We knew that if we still had no baby by the time I hit 42 weeks we would automatically be transferred to the hospital of our choice for an induction.  We chose to try some more “powerful” induction methods to see if anything would kick start labor.  I was still dilated 4cm so we had a foley balloon put in to see if that would help.  Rachael also sent us home with Cotton Root Bark and Castor Oil.  The midwife instructed us to start with the Cotton Root Bark tincture and if combined with the balloon did not start labor to do one round of Castor Oil the following day.  She assured us that Castor Oil always does the trick in getting labor started, even if the side effects are nasty.

The balloon did help for a few hours as I started getting contractions, but they waned a couple hours after we got home.  Thanksgiving day was spent on the couch watching football and Christmas movies.  I was ridiculously uncomfortable and had Devin help me remove the balloon as soon as I hit the 24 hour mark.  That afternoon I started my first round of Castor Oil and prepared emotionally to have a Thanksgiving baby.

Still nothing.

The following morning I was emotional and discouraged that NOTHING seemed to be working to get our little girl to come out.  I was 2 days away from having to be induced in a hospital and I was a mess.  I called the midwives and they gave us the choice to come in and talk and check to see if I had progressed at all.  It was Black Friday and Devin was scheduled to work both of his jobs all weekend.  By the Grace of God his employers were understanding and allowed him to stay home with me.  We headed to MMC around 1:00pm and met the on-call midwife, Tiffiny.  She was surprised to hear that the Castor Oil didn’t appear to work.  We talked about our options and decided that it would be best for Tiffiny to pre-register us at Denver Health for an induction on Sunday, November 29th.  We had one more membrane sweep done and were instructed to do another round of Cotton Root Bark and Castor Oil, just for the hell of it.  

We arrived back home around 2:30pm and I settled on the couch with a snack and the movie Elf.  About thirty minutes later I started feeling minor contractions.  Nothing major, but they did allow me to nap in between.  Which is great because I was going to need all my energy!

The Santa Clause was up next and as soon as the movie began there was a change in my contractions.  Becoming stronger and demanding more of my attention, Devin started “nesting” to get the house ready for us to leave.  From shoveling the sidewalk (because it had started snowing , of course!) to doing all the dishes.  He started timing my contractions around 8:45pm, knowing we couldn’t go to the Birth Center until contractions were 3 minutes apart, one minute long, for at least an hour.  About twenty minutes in to timing and there was already the 3-1-1 pattern we needed.  We called our Doula, Sarah, to update her and allow her to hear my have a couple contractions.  He then called Tiffiny to let her know that we would be coming in tonight and would let her know when we were on our way.

With contractions being so strong and regular from the start everyone was confident that Ellie would arrive that night!  Devin packed up the car with our bags and we left for the Birth Center around 9:45pm Friday, November 27th.

Little did we know what would take place in the next 24 hours...

Baby on Board

By now you have probably heard our family is growing this year!  We were THRILLED to announce to our families around Easter that, despite what the doctor's said, we were having a baby!  Many people are not as lucky as we have been, or try for more than two years like we did, but we know our little one is a miracle.  Our miracle.

Momma has been feeling great and didn't have any morning sickness, but plenty of other normal twinges and emotions!  Dad has embraced fatherhood already and cannot wait for baby to arrive in November.

Last week we had our "Anatomy Ultrasound" and got to spend an hour watching our baby flip, spin and twirl.  Momma thinks she is a dancer already, even took time to stretch!

Now the fun of planning out the nursery begins!  We are looking forward to seeing everything come together in the final months and of course meeting our new little lady!

Catch Up

Life has a way of running full speed when we aren't paying attention doesn't it?  We get busy and forget to remember the little things that make life grand.  Between work, doctor's appointments, balancing the bank account, and everything else I tend to loose sight of the really good things in life.  The things that make the stress and worry fade away, the things that make me thank God.

The last six months have been exactly that.  They have been busy, of course, but won't life always be some kind of busy?  In that business I seem to have forgotten to focus on all the good in life.  Worry set in.  Stress took over.  

As I sit here on this quiet Saturday morning I want to reflect on all the months that have gone by, but I want to finally look at all the blessings that God has given us.  After spending months of what felt like treading water, I want to look deeper at the things really keeping me, us, afloat.

Thanksgiving & Christmas

How blessed are we to have BOTH of our families so close to us?  Sometimes all the activities and hangouts do wear us thin, but I know so many people that wish they lived close to family.  Living so close means we get extra turkey and pie at Thanksgiving and Christmas lasts into January.  I am so grateful for the love my family shows Devin in accepting him into our family.  I am thankful for my in-laws and welcoming me into their family.  Not everyone is as lucky as us in that regard!

Booming Business

I am thankful for the extra-long Christmas-season at work this year.  The long days were tough on both me and Devin, but I am thankful that it did not last forever.  I am thankful for the extra business at work because when we got hit with a really high tax bill this year Devin's bonus covered it perfectly, thanks to the long Christmas-season.  Of course it was a bummer to spend that money on taxes instead of things we need (or paying debt), but at least we are not in debt to the IRS!

Friends in Far Away Places

I am thankful for airline miles that allowed us to visit Devin's childhood friends in Atlanta.  I am thankful for their hospitality, laughter, and cute babies.  I am thankful for the opportunity to see where my husband grew up and went to school.

Close Birthdays

I am thankful that Devin and my birthdays are so close together.  In a time when money is tight it is a blessing to celebrate together!

New Church

I am thankful for Park Church.  I am thankful that  God lead us away from our former church.  I am thankful for our Gospel Community (small group).  We have both seen our faith deepen in amazing ways since our church change.  We are blessed to be (almost) members of a church that is gospel-driven, scripture-based, and hipster-attended.  

Lots of Bags

I am thankful for the support of family as I ventured into starting my own Thirty-One business.  I am thankful for a great start the last couple months that allowed me to earn nearly ten bags for free to use for my business.  I am thankful for the last minute orders this week that will allow me to go to the National Conference for FREE!

Health Insurance

Right now, this is a hard one to be thankful for, but I am thankful that we have it.  I am thankful that it allows us to go to the doctor freely.  I am thankful that we finally found GOOD doctors that listen to us and want to help.  I am thankful that God provided the funds to pay for the first month.

Marriage

I am thankful for Devin.  It is easy to take marriage for granted, or to be frustrated about something he does.  But I am thankful for him and who he is.  I am thankful for his patience and his sense of humor.  I am thankful for his love of football (soccer) and how it is helping him fall in love with Europe too.  I am thankful for the times we pray before we fall asleep.  I am thankful for how God uses him to refine me, bring my faults to light.  I am thankful for how he loves me.

There is a lot that I do not want to be thankful for too, but I hope in time I will be able to look back and be thankful.  When we feel like we are drowning in car payments and events on the calendar it is easy to get discouraged in all that is going on.  My prayer is that in the coming months I will be able to look beyond the yucky stuff and see how God is working it together for his good.  Even if all I can muster is "Thank you, God, that we are not hungry, we have a home, we have cars to drive,  and clothes to wear."

"You'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious - the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse."

Phillippians 4:8 MSG

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those called according to His purpose."

Romans 8:28 ESV

Devin's Introduction - And A Thought Provoking One At That

Hey everyone, I'm the other half of this blog, subsequently I'm also the other half of the family this blog focuses on. I was asked by Mallory to contribute to this blog months ago but have failed to either find the time, or energy to do so until today (funny how college can do that huh?). I'm not really sure how I will fit into this collaborative project yet, so bear with me while I find my place. For now I will probably just write about whatever comes to mind, I can't promise my musings will not drip of political rhetoric, nor can I assure you I will not write about sports every single time.

I have been casually reading a lot this year. I would love to say that it's been my new year's resolution, but that is a flat out lie. I'm honestly not sure what got me interested in reading so many books this year, but it has been a blast. So far this year I have read F. Scott Fitzgerald's timeless classic The Great Gatsby, Machiavelli's The Prince, Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut and am currently slowly (read: very slowly) reading through Plato's The Republic. 

There are a few observations I have made about these books. First off, it's embarrassing that two of the aforementioned books were required reading for high school, yet I didn't read them then (thank you CliffNotes). Second, the very act of finding a reading list caused me to realize something rather daunting about what masculinity looks like in American society.

You see, when I sought out a good reading list to attempt to read through I happened to stumble upon a pretty solid collection. The troubling part of this was it was in an article on The Art of Manliness' website, which happened to be titled "100 Must-Read Books: The Essential Man’s Library" (http://www.artofmanliness.com/2008/05/14/100-must-read-books-the-essential-mans-library/). 

I like browsing The Art of Manliness, don't get me wrong. It's a fun site to peruse, laugh at, learn a little, and it generally speaks to the very essence of what interests men. But that's also the problem, as I see it at least. 

The fact that there is a demand for something as small and trivial as a reading list for men tells me that men in modern day society don't know how to be a man anymore. What is most concerning here is: It really speaks to the desperate desire that men have to feel manly. There are iPhone cases that are fashioned to mimic a rugged wood block, Just for Men commercials that make you feel insignificant to society if you have even a hint of gray hair, and countless shows/movies/media displays that pigeonhole us men into thinking we have to act a certain way, say certain things, and participate in certain activities, or else we won't be manly. 

But the problem is, we all fail. Even the most powerful men in America are missing the mark, their failure to lead on Capital Hill in DC is reflected by the fact that nearly everybody does not approve of their performance. 

To make manhood seem even worse, a fictional cartoon dad is considered influential for "Everyman" (see number 25). Society likes to portray men as goofy, clumsy, unintelligent, and for the most part useless. How many sitcoms have you seen in the last 5 years where the lead male role isn't portrayed by a helpless man who is the butt of everyone else's jokes and is, for the most part? Commercials attempt to reverse this sense of worthlessness by using it to sell their products, think really hard about what the pitch "Gillette - The Best A Man Can Get" really means? I don't know about you, but to me it means "to avoid being as stupid as Homer Simpson, and to be the best man you can possibly be, buy our mass produced products, that'll make you a man for sure!"

And that's where the need for sites such as the Art of Manliness comes in. But the problem is, we're going to the wrong source. 

Our most influential male figure was intended to be our dads. We looked up to them for guidance and assistance, and they were there to generally show us how we as men should treat the world around us. But an increasing number of households in this country experience a divorce, meaning time with daddy is minimal at best, and thus we aren't able to learn what it truly means to be a gentleman. 

My dad, bless his heart, was a Delta employee meaning he often worked odd hours and even was called to far off places like Rio de Janeiro for weeks at a time. But he always made time for his kids, playing with them in the yard, showing them how to paint a deck, taking them to hockey practice, and basically just being a great family man. Without such a connection to the most influential man in our lives, how are we supposed to know what it means to be a man?

A lack of this contact with such an influential man can most definitely create a void in our manly souls and that's when we seek things that grant us power and acceptance. Some go to strip clubs or watch porn (which in no way makes you either manly or powerful), some try to assert their power by misguided force (in rare cases resulting in headline grabbing acts of violence), while some will find a way to cope with it, living only as a watered down male - essentially a domesticated house cat. The scariest part of my less than scientific hypotheses is: These tendencies will be passed down to the next generation, which can then move to the next and so on. 

Men desire leadership, they desire love, they desire attention. But without first learning how to be a man, all of those things will be misguided and lack meaning throughout life. Being a man, despite the stereotypes, still carries a lot of responsibility. Don't let that responsibility go to waste, but instead cherish the opportunity to be the manliest man you can be.

Kielbasa & White Bean Stew with Tomatoes & Spinach

With the cooler weather creeping in our Crockpot has come out of the cupboard and taken its place on the counter for the coming months.  So far this Fall we have tried a variety or recipes, but this soup has been a favorite!

We tossed everything (except the spinach) in the slow cooker before leaving for work which made the house smell so delicious when we came home!

Such a yummy soup for cold rainy (and snowy) Colorado days.  Enjoy!





Kielbasa & White Bean Stew with Tomatoes and Spinach
http://www.kalynskitchen.com/2012/02/recipe-for-slow-cooker-kielbasa-and.html

1 lb died small white beans
1 onion, finely chopped
1 tbsp minced garlic
1 tsp dried rosemary
1/2 tsp dried thyme
6 cups chicken broth
1 can (14.5 oz) petite diced tomatoes
14 oz kielbasa sausage, cut into half moon sizes
4 packed cups fresh spinach
Grated Parmesan cheese for topping

Toss all ingredients into slow cooker, except spinach, and cook on low for 6-7 hours.  When the beans are done to your liking add in chopped spinach for the last 30 minutes of cooking.

Serve topped with grated Parmesan cheese.

This recipe made about 6-7 servings for us, which was perfect for dinner, lunch leftovers and enough to freeze to have another day.  The frozen soup reheated perfectly in the Crockpot too!

I hope you enjoy!

Tucker's 6th Birthday

Mallory's little boy turned six back in September and she wanted to celebrate with something special.  Sometime close to his birthday Mallory made "Doggie Cupcakes" so the boys could have a special treat in honor of Tucker's birthday.

Here is Tucker at nine weeks, the day he came home:

How cute was he?  It is hard to believe its been six years since he came home.

Anyway, here is Tucker's birthday celebration!


Carrot Peanut Butter Dog Cake
http://amycollette.blogspot.com/2012/04/luna-first-birthday-party.html

1 cup white flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup shredded carrots
1 tsp vanilla
1/3 cup honey
1 egg

Mix flour and baking soda together, then add all additional ingredients.
Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.
Whip non-fat cream cheese with electric mixer for frosting - I love this KitchenAid KHM512ER 5-Speed Ultra Power Hand Mixer, Empire Red

This recipe made six cupcakes, which was perfect!  I was able to freeze half of them for Kenobi's first birthday a few weeks later.

The dogs devoured the cupcakes, and all the crumbs they left on the floor.  They were so easy to make and enjoyed by all!

September: A Blur

So much for posting at least once a week, huh?  September was one crazy month for us that it ended before we knew it.  Here are our September Highlights!

Inspire Women's Conference

Mission Hills Church - Littleton, Colorado

Mallory got to spend a Saturday with her mom enjoying fun women's speakers and worship.  They don't get to see each other very often, so this full day gleaning from other women was great mother-daughter time.  Unfortunately there are no photos of their accidental matching outfits.  

MUSE Concert

Pepsi Center - Denver, Colorado

Devin's all-time favorite band came to Denver, so of course we had tickets!  He was giddy like a little kid.  Mallory had never been a huge fan of their music, but was blown away by their live performance.

Friends and Family

Littleton & Evergreen, Colorado

The wedding brought lots of friends and family into town and it was great to see everyone.  From Devin's ATL friends to the family from San Diego (Florida & Virginia too) it was great to catch up with everyone and even meet some new faces!

Dalton and Heather's Wedding

Evergreen, Colorado

Devin's younger brother Dalton married Heather at The Red Barn in Evergreen.  With only a few sprinkles during pictures the rain held off until the ceremony.  It was a beautiful ceremony despite the rain and cold.  We are so excited to welcome Heather into the Howard family!

Photos courtesy of Libby Newell Photography

REST

Our home - Lakewood, Colorado

After all the family had left town again and the wedding festivities were over we finally had a chance to be "us."  We spent the rest of the month catching up on life, taking the dogs for walks and enjoying married life again.  

September was such an exciting month for us, but it left us cherishing the quiet moments in life.  The moments when we curl up on the couch with our puppies, watch Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, and just be us.  Those are the moments that make all the crazy worth it.