Hello, it’s me
I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet
-Adele
We arrived at Mountain Midwifery Center just before 10:00pm on Friday, November 27th. We were met at the door by midwife, Tiffiny with a gentle excitement. She followed us to my room, the Caravan Room. At the birth center they let you pick a room and I immediately fell in love with the rich, deep hues of this room on our tour months earlier. A few moments later our doula, Sarah, arrived as well. In between contractions we commented about how this baby will likely arrive before the sun rises and my heart skipped with nervous excitement. Tiffiny gave me the option to check on my dilation, but I chose to wait a little bit and labor a little while longer before checking on things.
One of the things I loved about MMC was that they allowed you to labor in whatever position was the most comfortable for you. I started on the ball leaning over the edge of the bed. Slowly rocking through each contraction. Devin sitting right beside me, moaning with me. I transitioned to a peanut ball on the bed and eventually side-lying on the bed. My contractions slowed to every six minutes for the next couple hours as I was able to get some rest in between. We listed to my favorite hymns and worship songs, as well as a mixture of Avett Brothers, Hozier, and Adele.
Around 1:30am Sarah encouraged us to change positions and try something that resembled Captain Morgan. Devin supported me as I hung from his shoulders and joined me in every contraction. An hour later contractions picked up to two minutes apart and began getting even stronger. The slow dancing seemed to help!
At 3:30am we got “checked” and was dilated seven centimeters, 90% effaced and baby was a zero station. Contractions slowed again to every six minutes, but were still getting stronger in intensity.
For the next two hours I labored in the tub trying different positions to get the baby to descend. Contractions ranging from 2-4 minutes apart. Devin remaining by my side the entire time, breathing low and deep with me, keeping me cool with a wet rag on my forehead.
Just after 6:00am we had another check: eight centimeters dilated, 90% effaced and baby still at zero station. With a midwife shift change, Gina recommended that we walk the halls, lunging and swirling my hips. So I didn’t feel ridiculous, Devin and Sarah joined me in lunging through the halls. The perfect example of teamwork.
At 7:00am, and back in the tub, Gina started giving me some homeopathic supplements to see if we could get more consistent contractions. They were a bunch of latin words and I have no idea what they were now, but I had to let them dissolve under my tongue for ten minutes. At 7:25am we added Blue Cohosh to the mix, which I took like a shot every 15 minutes.
Devin turned to me, “You are the strongest woman I have ever met. You can handle anything after this!”
I had been laboring for nearly 12 hours at the birth center by now with contractions still being very inconsistent, and my water still had not broken. Ready to get things kicked up to the next level we opted for Gina to break my water. We hoped that this would regulate my contractions and push me into the next part of labor. Gina confirmed that I had dilated to 9.25 centimeters and then proceeded to break my water.
And then everything changed.
“It looks like we have some meconium” said Gina. Devin and I both knew that meant our time at MMC was over and we would be headed to Swedish Hospital. I wasn’t surprised at the news since our little girl was two weeks “over due” and I know it’s likely in these cases that the baby has their first bowel movement in the womb. Even though there was little chance of threat to her health, and the midwives are all properly trained for this, Colorado state law does not allow for me to now deliver outside of a hospital...unless birth is imminent.
Gina advised me to push if I felt the urge, but to not push if not since I was not fully dilated yet. She left us to labor on our own while preparing my transfer paperwork and to call the ambulance. Shortly before the ambulance arrived I entered “transition” which is known for being the worst part of labor. Nurse Karen attempted twice to get me set up for an IV but was not able to succeed.
The ride to the hospital was under five minutes, but was the most uncomfortable I had been. Having to explain my situation to the ambulance people, who did not have the grace to ask me questions in between contractions like I had been used to with the midwives. We were accompanied to the hospital with MMC nurse Karen, and of course our doula, Sarah.
Arriving in Labor & Delivery at Swedish was a nightmare. The room was immediately filled with hoards of nurses, doctors and residents, who all wanted to ask me a million questions about my health history during contractions. I was told to lie on my back so I could be connected for fetal monitoring. I was absolutely miserable. Getting checked in, placing my IV, getting baby’s heart rate all took about an hour and a half. It probably would have taken a lot longer if Devin hadn’t turned into “Papa Bear.” He saw how miserable I was laboring through transition, stuck on my back, having to answer to a million people and started getting stern with one of the residents, who we now call “Frodo Doogie Howser.” After that, only one head nurse came into our room to check on me.
Eventually I was allowed to get out of bed and labor in the tub. It was nearly 1:00pm on Saturday and I was finally finding my labor rhythm again, contractions were back to every three minutes. At 1:21pm the nurse was back getting me out of the tub for more fetal monitoring. Oh how I was missing the monitor from the birth center that allowed me labor anywhere and still hear baby’s heart rate! I got out of the tub again and hooked back up to the machines. Through our entire pregnancy we had a squirmy baby that was hard to find and keep on heart monitors. Today was no exception. What should have been 15-20 minutes of monitoring took closer to 40 minutes trying to track down her heart rate.
At 2:00pm we were checked again and were 9.75 centimeters dilated with an anterior lip, baby was still at zero station.
All the moving and continuous fetal monitoring were more than I was bargaining for. The hospital procedures kept me from my “labor zone” and I was getting more and more exhausted. I had been in active labor for nearly 24 hours and needed something other than imagery and encouragement to keep dealing with all the tests and procedures. The nurse left us to discuss our options and Sarah helped us process the risks and benefits of getting an epidural. She then left us to get some snacks for her and Devin while we decided what to do. At 2:26pm we decided to move forward with an epidural.
By 3:45pm I was “drugged up” and comfortable. I seriously didn’t believe how well epidurals worked until I had one, but with the hell I had been through in the last few hours I was now a happy camper. For the next two hours we all napped from the sleepless night. It was glorious!
The nurse monitored my still inconsistent contractions and the doctor started me on Pitocin, in hopes that my contractions would regulate. They started me on the smallest dose, but after thirty minutes it was stopped as it made my contractions 2+ minutes long and less than a minute apart. An hour later they tried Pitocin again.
Another cervical check at 7:45pm showed that nothing had changed since check in. Baby was showing signs of being stressed while on Pitocin and we were presented with the option of a Cesarean.
By now our families had gotten word that we had been transferred to the hospital and were waiting to hear news. I had Devin get my mom and we all went around the room processing what steps to take. We even called the midwife, Gina, to get her thoughts. Despite her discouraging us to “jump” to a Cesarean, I had a lot of peace about the situation. Sarah and my mom left Devin and I to talk and discuss and decide what to do. Devin was emotional as we talked. This was not something we even prepared for and we had a lot of questions. We asked to speak with the surgeon on call, Dr. Weister to answer all our questions. He just began his shift at 7:00pm, which was a blessing to have a “fresh” doctor! He did another check and discovered that the baby had turned “sunny-side up” which was likely preventing her from coming further down.
Devin and I made the emotional decision to move forward with the surgery. While the OR was prepped we invited both of our parents in the room to share our decision. My dad prayed over us, which was really special.
When presented with the decision to do a cesarean, it was not an emergency. I am thankful that we were presented with the option when we did as it allowed us to process and pray. I am thankful for the time we were given because it allowed us to ask questions. It allowed Devin AND Sarah to scrub up and be in the OR with me. I had an overwhelming sense of peace over me as I was wheeled into the OR and I heard the nurses say my temperature was rising quickly above 100 and baby’s heart rate was slowing. It became an emergency to get Ellie out as I was on my way to the OR.
If we hadn’t taken the time to process when we did, Devin wouldn’t have been waiting for me in the OR. I am so thankful for the time we had.
As I was wheeled into the OR I heard Sarah say, “You are going to meet your baby soon!” And all I could think was “I know that is true but I cannot believe it. I can’t believe it until I see her.”
Devin sat next to me, holding my hand. I was uncontrollably shaking due to all the drugs and hormones pumping through my body.
At 9:42pm Ellie was brought earthside! 24 hours after we arrived at MMC. I heard all the nurses exclaim, “Oh my! Look at all that hair!” I heard her cry for the first time and it hit me that she was a real person and she was here! After being so stubborn to come out she was finally here. As Devin left my side to attend to our baby I heard Adele’s “Hello” come on the radio. A few moments later he brought her to me and she was beautiful. This is not how we planned to bring our baby into this world, but it was perfect. Tears rolled down my cheeks as we got to be together just the three of us, in a room full of doctors and nurses.
Devin took Ellie to recovery and I joined them there thirty minutes later. I remained in recovery a long time due to excessive bleeding, but finally, just after midnight on Sunday we got to introduce her to our families who had waited nine long months to learn her name. Devin held her as they gathered around, “This is Eleanor Antoinette.” I was exhausted, but I saw tears well up in our mother’s eyes.
Our birth was not what we expected or what we planned. We were presented with so many decisions to make and there is a part of me that feels like my birth experience was taken from me by having to transfer from the beautiful, peaceful birthing center to the hospital. And even though I had become proud of my birth plan to have a natural birth, God has used this experience to humble me. My first lesson in motherhood.
Sure, I feel like I have to explain my story to all the other “crunchy mamas” how we tried, but we just couldn’t get the baby to move. But we made our first big decision as a family with prayer and the support of those that love us. There are days that I feel guilty for not “trying harder” to have a natural birth, but then I have to remind myself that this is what was best for Ellie, I did not fail her.
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I tried
-Adele
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
.jpeg)
